Release in 1990, Dick Tracy was yet another Comic Book movie that rode the coattails of 1989’s BATMAN, but to middling success. This probably has to do with that most moviegoers didn’t know who the f&@k Dick Tracy (or “DT” as we will be addressing him for the remainder of this article) was or is. This is understandable, as “Dick Tracy” sounds like sex instructions for dull people looking to zing up their love life. 


As with every blockbuster movie in the 90s, a video game tie-in for every console over the sun was not far behind. And for the new SEGA Mega Drive, SEGA themselves took up the challenge of bringing the adventures of everyone’s favorite(?) crime stopper to their home consoles.


The game is an action platformer (We know, shocker right!?), that has a novel mechanic that DT can use his Tommy Gun to mow down “crims” (short for “criminals”, saves us time when we type) in the background. Knowing from the game’s intro that DT’s approach to crime is to brutalize it, it must take sheer power of will to only use his handgun for enemies directly in front of him.


The story of the game kinda follows the story of the movie but all of the named gangster characters are bosses, regardless of their allegiance in the movie or comic book. In the game, the father of DT’s girlfriend, Tess Trueheart (who sounds like your neighborhood’s hateful Avon lady), has been murdered by ‘Big Boy’ Caprice… for some reason. It’s never explained and since the game came out in 1990 it seems fruitless to take umbrage with this omission now. Because of this, DT wants to bust/revenge murder Caprice and instead of going straight to him. He slowly (and almost sexually), dismantles, slays, bombs, stabs, punches his way through the rest of the gangsters in town before pushing Caprice down a chasm.


The stages are split into levels with the last stage being a boss fight. Splitting the stages up is a bonus round at a shooting range, where DT shoots targets of the film’s gangsters while trying to miss targets of his allies. You will have to see the film to know who they are because the game doesn’t tell you! As far as you know that random postman target could be some sort of sex pest.


The world of DT is a bright primary coloured nightmare. Where if you are born with any sort of deformity you instantly are declared a criminal, regardless of any criminal leanings. Every day you live in constant fear that DT will shoot you in the face screaming “Your reign of terror ends now, Ears McGee!”. All because you were born with slightly larger earlobes. It’s no wonder these freaks have banded together to murder the sh#tting f&@k out of him.


In summation, the game is fun if frustrating, as it gets hard as all f%$k after stage two. Blast Processing recommends though! Especially if you bear a grudge against people with physical deformities or retired circus freakshow performers.


PLATFORMSSEGA Mega Drive / SEGA Master System

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